What did I learn after marriage?

Picture courtesy:www.lifehack.org

It has been a while. I have been running around with my school work and could not update my blog page. Even on my blog's birthday :) A happy 7 years. 

 So, why this topic?I have been married for nearly 2 years now and the last few months of my life has been stressful with loads of work to do. It is interesting how this has helped me understand better how important it is to have a great and supportive husband who is ready and is there for you. Thanks to Arvind, that I have completed my second semester. He has been an amazing husband and friend. Of course, just like every other relation: friend or spouse, we have had our differences and struggles. It is natural and we have been moving on with things. This got me thinking of writing a note on my lessons I learned from my marriage so far.

So, what does marriage mean? The dictionary meaning would say, the bond between the man and the woman (or same sex). However, I liked the point where it said, that it means a close and intimate relationship. Now, does it only mean a bond between the man and the wife? Yes, it is very important to have a good and very deep bonding between the man and the wife but it is also equally important for the families to bond. Yes, it is crucial. But, you never know what you will get in life. As quoted in the movie, Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get." That is how it was for me, I did not know, I don't like the "milk chocolates" as much as i thought i would when i saw them! Nor did I think, i would love the "dark chocolates" as much as I did not appreciate it in the beginning. It is surely healthier! (Hidden meaning!) So, here are a few things I learned from my almost 2 year old marriage.

Things  I learned after marriage:

1. Things are never FAIR. Learn to adjust and move on. 
2. People talk. Let them. Do not WORRY. It is their "Karma". What goes around, comes around. So, just follow to your goal. 
3. Turn deaf ears. Sometimes, that is better. It will be (and always is) hard. But try your best to do that. 
4. Mother-in-laws will be mother-in-laws. They will be good mother-in-laws and may be (for a few) bad mother-in-laws. I of course, changed my point of view that mother-in-laws could be also your mother! I had a different perception and thought mother-in-laws would be a  mother again, but I guess, I have had to change my opinion. It is not just with my own experience,but from what I have observed at other homes.  May be that is why, they are called "in-laws." (However, good you will be, things will not be that beautiful as it ll seem to be- a point for both sides of the equation!:)).
5. Father-in-laws are always kinder and better good goodie souls. They will be nice, warm, funny, and no worries souls. Most often, they fall under the goodness side of the circle!
6. You will never be short of problems and yes, the grass is greener on the other end (for all of us). 
7. If you love your husband and if he loves you truly, then you are safe and it is not much to worry.
8. Go for what your heart yearns, marriage is never to stop you (for both the spouses) from doing and living your life, it is in fact to help you shape your life better. You have to support each others decisions and stand by that. That will help the wheel of life just keep rolling straight and strong. 
9. Try and take a break once a while with your hubby dear (vice versa). Even when you have children, take a few days of break - just 2 days would do, all by yourself. It is essential to have a very healthy and strong relationship. 
10. Trust in the good God and trust that He will be there for helping you sail through this life smoothly and make it an enjoyable and beautiful journey. 

The list is probably longer but I thought I will keep it short and sweet. This is just my personal opinion. I am not voicing for any one else. It is not to point out to anyone in particular. I like this phase of my life and I am enjoying my time with my hubby. These are reflections of a young (so i would love to call myself :)) girl with her very young experience. I am sure, these will change with time and a decade from now, the post might sound different. However, I hope and I think, I will love my husband even more and better and may be we will be bond as better friends. I hope he does too (he better do ;)) ..lolz. 

Anyways, this is my first post after my semester break:) 

Hoping to keep this going.

The puppet!

Picture courtesy: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2007/01/dealing-with-manipulative-people.html

She smiled,
innocent and nice
They smiled back,
Faking...
Alas! She did not realize.
Everything just fell in place,
so fast and so quick,
that she did not reflect,
on her thoughts.

Conversations proved,
the "true" colors,
the changing skin and changing tone.
She swallowed her pride,
silently took it to her stride.

Now, -
she is family,
or so she is told.
thankful to her sweetheart,
she does feel "it" once in a while.
Rest of the time, she is all sore and hurt,
with words that look like honey coated spikes!

Trying to keep her cool,
she walks through their path.
The lies and manipulations,
she is done with that.
She feels like a puppet
all tied up and rocked.
She doesn't know where else to go,
or what else to do.
Now, all she has is the hand she held
and walked in to this home,
The hope,that it was meant to be
all good and bright.

May be it is time to just,
walk away-
bold and fearless.

May be it is time she gave it back,
stern and assertive,
she doesn't have much choice. 

But, then..may be........

Slithering evil

Courtesy: Google images:aroundtheworldwithmeblog

Evil snake has risen from hell,
Slithering around and killing for fun.
A little girl was found in its spell,
frightened and shivering
(i hope) She did survive from hell.
Will she even remember, what was it like,
To be cuddled, kissed and embraced in love?
Those slithering hands and the venomous touch has ripped out her soul and crushed
such a beautiful life.
Oh! you power-drunken fools,
You can only afford to smile for a little while
those alter egos and the boiling souls
are now on the rise.
The only way to crush the evil
Is to cut its ”tail” and burn it to death.
I wish, I wish and I wish this happens
For those evil stares and venomous hands
don’t deserve to be alive even in jail !!

Mid semester shocks and way of life....

Can you believe it is almost mid March! This semester seems to be like on roller skates. All I can remember is having stood on a pair of skates and now I am just zooming on my way and I cannot believe that I am just having a month and the rest of March in hand to complete the 2nd semester.
I am enjoying the semester in terms of the subjects / courses I have taken. Even though one of courses seemed very hard for me in the beginning, it is shaping up to be interesting and exciting. I of course, enjoy the Qualitative and the theory class the most. I am blessed with the best professor I can ever ask for in my life - Dr. Ronald. E. Taylor. I really like him so much that I sometimes see myself as "Dronacharya-Arjuna(and I being more of Ekalavya :))" kind of relationship with him. I always pray to God for him- he is a very genuine and wonderful person and a teacher and mentor par excellence.

Dr. Micheal Palenchar, who teaches the Qualitative Part I is also very genuine person and a deep thinker. I am waiting for the next Part II course in Qualitative research methods by yet another wonderful professor- Dr. Eric Haley.

Other than the course, the class seems to be interesting. I am enjoying working with Jinhee (my best buddy in this campus or rather in my department) on a paper that we hope to publish in AEJMC! The rest - remains the same way as it was last semester.

One fine day - Dr. Morisson with her pet

However, a pleasant day like today just did not last long. We were all shocked and shattered by the news we received. Our school's department head, Dr. Margie Morrison passed away. She was a very sweet and kind professor and I have had quiet a few interactions with her in the past semester. She in fact, always encouraged me and showed confidence in me. On Valentine's day, there was a pot luck in our department and she made some green bean soup and served it and she invited me and reminded me to have the soup. She also made sure that she told me what ingredients were used in cooking the various soups and food items the profs had brought that day so that I did not have any problem having the vegetarian ones.. She was such a nice lady.

Her death was a shocker as it was very unexpected. I am sure the department (my school) is very close knit and a wonderful department and this is surely something that no one would have been able to digest.I know she had a dog, a very handsome dog and she was very fond of him. He was an akita breed and was huge and cuddly.

I pray for her soul to rest in peace. I am still not able to take the news and it is sad. This is for you Dr. Morrison. Thank you for all that you did and have done for students like me. I am grateful to God to have joined such a wonderful school and great department.

Please share your prayers for her and pray for her family and friends.

Let go!

Picture courtesy :http://www.livelifehappy.com/

I came across this quote by a very well known personality, Zora Neale Hurston. 


"I think sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.”

Coming to think of it, i feel that every one of us would have experienced this in our lives. For some, this is how life goes on. I have had wonderful experiences through out my childhood and even now as an adult. Having moved places, meeting new people has been exciting, engrossing, blessing and of course, disenchanting, disgusting and irritating! Have I learned something from this? Yes, I have. I have learned that you will be taken for granted. I have also learned that you will be cared for by a few. Again, you will realize the value of the saying : Nothing is permanent in this world except change. Even love, trust, happiness, sadness, anger and everything you think is against or for you will keep changing. Is there anything that is constant? I dont know. May be, an unconditional love. What is that ? Is it even there? Can you call a one sided unconditional love to be the same as a mutual one? I could say a mother's affection or may be father's in some cases (mine!).Well, if you are really lucky and blessed you do get a great partner or soul mate (I am grateful for mine). 

Well, I dont know why I am prattling all this here- but I do know it helps. It helps me throw away all the junk and unwanted thoughts that bother and all the good memories that I can carry and cherish. 

Going back to the quote, I would like to mention a word about Hurston. She was or may be still is considered as America's most favorite black conservative (Wiki,2013). She was popular during the Harlem Renaissance period. I am sure that was the time the difference in race was an issue (sometimes, it still is). The quote obviously voices her state of mind and the state of the society at that time. 

I thought of writing this by using her quote because, sometimes you do feel all alone in this world even with people around, family and friends around. Sometimes, you feel that you are like that passing cloud that is absolutely not thought of or is expected to linger around for long. Sometimes, it is even worse, you see and feel the vibes of "distancing" from everywhere and you are so lost like strandled in a desert. However, the first thing you must do is try to relax and think about the cactus that has survived the scorching sun, think about that cloud that comes back with shades of grey or even lets the sun out so much that people long again for the cloudy skies. and yet some other times, think of that moment when you see those millions of people who are homeless under the sky, who go hungry and sleep with just rumbling stomach, who are always out cast and ill-treated. Relatively, you are surely in a real better place. That is how the world works. That is how the mind works too. The mind needs constant motivation and support that you can then move on with an attitude as Zora quotes, "It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me!"

I don't know what title should I be giving for this post. I am also not sure as to how and why I started writing this post. It surely is my way to empty my mind and paint a new attitude that motivates me! 

Have a great week ahead folks!

The Clouds

I paint the sky.
sometimes white,
sometimes black, and sometimes just in shades of grey.
I bring rain and thunderstorms.
I mesmerize the little folks
who think i am a wonderland
For some,
Of course, I reflect their 'very' thoughts,
and take forms as they wish to see! 

© Meenu Arvind  and Photo courtesy - Meenu Arvind ! 

Media n Society!

This semester, I have taken one core class on Mass comm theory for research. It is a very interesting and wonderful class and all the more so with my favorite professor teaching this class. He is an excellent mentor and teacher and that is all together a story for a separate blog post! 

So, now talking about the classes, we have this  every Wednesday. Just like any other American university, we have loads to read before the class and that is usually the discussed the next day/week/session. The readings given for this class is of course, interesting and thought provoking. Yesterday's  class discussion had one reading on Payne study which is about the media effects on children. It was one of the oldest and earliest study done to understand the effects of movies on children. It did take me back to various train of thoughts. I am a very creative person, or at least one who loves a creative and expressive form of communication to paint my thoughts. I appreciate creative ideas and thoughts. I have always loved story telling (in fact, even now I do enjoy) and I think that is a wonderful medium to communicate some delicate issues to people. 

In the class we had a healthy and intellectual discussion (My class has some astounding set of students and surely, the discussions are usually good) about wether media/movies/ad influence or reflect society/life/culture? 

Picture courtesy : Google image search. Mark Parisi off the mark cartoon

This is a question that has been in my mind for long. I was wondering what or who influence what or whom ? So, how does this work? It is surely difficult to answer. Like how I answered in my class- it depends on which side you are :P. When a movie or an ad is played then there are certain things that spark a change in the attitude of people who "consume" the message.

We are human beings. We think. We process information and mind (brain) works in a manner that we  most often tend to work within the limits of what information is provided and what we process or dont process. Somehow, the culture has shaped and formed the way it started or it was laid down by that "one". For instance, we adapted drinking, smoking, offering diamond rings as token on wedding day. Even fashion. Things that people see and watch and they follow, that is the trend! Else, why would things that no one would have even imagined or tried, become the "mantra" for everyone after it becomes a trend? 

Well, what i actually wanted to say or ask is does movies/ad/tv influence the society/culture or does it reflect? Yes, it is true both ways, but which is the one that happens most? 

Do leave your comments. 

I have just babbled on and just written some crap but never mind. These are just thoughts i wanted to share. 

Have a great weekend in advance.